Halloween in the Castro is dead. Woodstock only happened once. Langerado 2009 was just cancelled. There’s comes a time in every party's life when it must die. Let’s pray this is not the year for Bay to Breakers.

An official press release from ING Bay to Breakers hit the wire today. It was not good news. In collaboration with the San Francisco Police Department, the Bay to Breakers council hopes to eliminate the use of alcohol, floats, excessive non-race traffic and fun. Yes, they want to stop fun.

The official rules for 2009 Bay to Breakers go as follows:

• Zero tolerance policy on alcohol. Anyone openly drinking alcohol or displaying public drunkenness will be subject to fines and prosecution.
• All wheeled objects and floats are prohibited. Inappropriate equipment on the streets is dangerous and can prevent runners and walkers from completing the race in a timely manner.
• Leave no footprint. Additional dumpsters will be placed along the course for trash.

Before we jump to any conclusions, let’s remember, even though the 3rd Sunday in May is the best day all year in San Francisco, some people ask the question: At what cost? People make terrible decisions on camera, clever costumes are ruined and keg cups are crushed like Barry Bond’s shot at the hall of fame.

Race General Manager, Angela Fang, goes on to explain, “The ING Bay to Breakers is about promoting community, physical fitness, and giving athletes and fitness enthusiasts the chance to compete in and enjoy one of the most exhilarating and scenic footraces in the world.”

This whole time we thought it was about binge drinking before dawn, flashing our junk to strangers and packing the N Judah like sardines. Shame on us San Francisco. Shame on us.

Ironically enough, in such a terrible economy, it’s almost as if Bay to Breakers could give our hearts the stimulus package they need and the hope of a better tomorrow. At the least, it could get us through today.

Say it ain’t so Bay to Breakers. 98 years and this is all we get?

With roughly a quarter million attendees last year, I hope I’m not the only one to say 'police this'. For the brave souls who wish to stumble by side, meet me at the top of Hayes St. If will we go down, we go downtown together.

See The Man’s full wrath here. (Official Press Release)

Protest the new policies on Facebook here and here, sign the Save Bay to Breakers Petition and join the movement at Save Bay2Breakers.

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