Recently we thought it would be a fun idea to drink Bloody Marys all down Polk street, in our heart of hearts we imagined pint glass after pint glass brimming over with Tabasco tomato juice goodness, perhaps the odd celery stick or two, or even the whimsical green bean. What we got was a horrible lesson on the inner workings of our livers and an epic soul crushing hangover that lasted for over two days. With that we bring you - the MetroWize Guide to Bloody Marys on Polk street.

So it was a simple goal, much like our well margarita tour of the mission, what follows is a tale of deep debauchery and and a descent into the heart of darkness. We had simple rules, well Bloody Marys judged on taste, presentation and ambiance of the establishment serving them. This went downhill quickly.

The first stop on the tour was Kimos located at 1351 Polk St., where we were too creeped out to by the over the top abundance of rent boys outside to order anything other then shots of Fernet and scamper quickly out the door. 1/5 - the one point comes from keeping it real.

The next stop in our tour was La Parilla at 1760 Polk street which was really the beginning of the end. The Bloody Marys were around $3. It was a pint glass full of red devil mayhem. Two spicy sips in and we realized just what we were getting ourselves into. Bloodies are spicy, thick and hard to chug. Blame it on our public school education but halfway through the first Bloody we spied on a bottle of Clase Azul Blanco, and at a steal of $6 our lack of attention spans allowed us to stray from our main goal, multiple, multiple times. If a fuzzy memory serves correctly the bar is still new but the Mary was fantastic, a definite 4/5.

We stumbled into Cinch located at 1723 Polk after that where Jim the Bartender poured us both the most amazing Bloody Marys and a round of Menta Branca. Things took a turn for the worse at this point. If Jim is what the Snake was to Eve then we are Adam to the Apple, which resulted in the immediate and ultimate expulsion from paradise or in our case all logical thought. We say the Bloody Mary was amazing but we are not really sure because weren't just drinking cranberry juice at some point? ?/5

Somehow we collected ourselves and hopped over to Bigfoot Lodge, this we can tell because of both police reports and our credit card statements. Here the Bloody Mary served its dual purposes of keeping up the inebriation as well as being an eye opener. If Bigfoots Bloody was an ode to World War II it would be Randal Jarrells, Death of the Ball Turret Gunner, but like in a good way. 4/

At this point we were feeling no pain and the short sprint over to Shanghai Kellys located at 2064 Polk St seemed like a spectacular idea. It wasn't. It was kind of like the end of the first Blair Witch movie, where in those final black and white moments Heather is frantically yelling through that abandoned house for Josh and the the camera gets hit by something and falls to the floor and we see Josh or someone standing against the wall. Yep, that's basically our memories of Shanghai Kellys - but with more slurring and less balance.

In short, we are professionals and the Bloody Mary Bust kicked our butts. Sure, we veered off track and probably didn't hit your favorite bars. Yes, we didn't remain lucid after the first round and we can readily admit that mixing all those spirits wasn't a good thing but here's the thing, this is MetroWize and we take it to the extreme so you don't have to.