"Bring on the grease" is what most people say when it's time to satiate those drunken hunger pains after the bars close and your head's spinning. Some folks don't make it past the street meat cart on the corner. A bacon wrapped hot dog, drizzled with onions, ketchup and mustard, so greasy it shines under the pale moon light. Others bypass the dogs and seek the taco truck. Chicken burritos or carne asada tacos get ordered the most, according to Jorge, who runs a truck that traverses the East side late at night.

As long as there's been nightlife, there's been drunk feeding. Way back in time, the Romans gorged on fried canaries and the ancient Egyptians chugged cabbage water. What strange ideas has modern man come up with? To find out, I conducted a little drunk food field research at a private party thrown at Berrics skatepark. Aside from this one guy who replied with a story about how he fell off his skateboard a year ago, landing head first, had an aneurysm and lost his sense of taste, here are the top responses:

"I need shrimp cocktail. Then I HAVE to have a Mcgriddle the next morning."

Only a night of heavy drinking could get a mouth to open this wide:

"Last night, I ate a third of a bag of chips on the way home and some candy. When I got home, I ate an orange, then leftover pudding, then half a box of my roommate's Lucky Charms straight out of the bag, eating handfuls and chugging milk from the bottle."

Worth the trip to Los Feliz:

"I eat Alice's Egg Sandwich at Fred 62's at least once a week around 2:30 in the morning. It's eggs, avocado, goat cheese and a mound of hashbrowns squeezed in a buttery bun. There's definitely been times I ate it at night and rolled in with my friends for brunch for a second round."

Homemade Gross:

"Take a cheese slice, like a Kraft single, and roll it into a cone shape. Fill the cone with some ketchup, Tabasco and a dill pickle. Crunch, spice, cheese! Don’t ask me to eat one sober."

At one point two girls danced around me in a circle a few times. I asked, "Am I a tree?" One of them said, "No, you're just a cute girl." That was pretty strange.

What's also odd is how that skinny chick eats this much food:
"The "Usual" is a bag of pita chips with a tub of hummus. If I don't have that I will put down about 3 McDonalds hamburgers, which are the most perfect drunk food ever."

Her friend liked to eat popcorn and 7-11 slurpees.

All this talk of food got me hungry. My friends and I hit up the Brite Spot at 1918 W Sunset Blvd, where I had sweet potato fries with pepper jack cheese melted all over them and a side of sunny side up eggs (see picture) and my friend had a cookies and cream milkshake and spaghetti. The third friend, who decided to nap in the car, had throw up all over herself. If anything, we must take a lesson from all this: Food looks a lot better going into your mouth.