So it's Bay to Breakers, the alpha and omega - the marathon race that embodies the spirit of Ozymandias, the event of the year and the reason that no matter what, the fact that we're San Franciscans counts for something is upon us again. It's a life affirming celebration of our cities survival from the big one and the only time that the cops won't openly arrest someone for complete and utter public intoxication/nudity. With that said, your homies here at MetroWize want to show you the way to sneak all the booze your evil little hearts desire into the race and succeed where so many others have failed. Here we go, another no holds barred MetroWize guide to sneaking your booze to Bay to Breakers.

Ok, easiest way to get your drink on is going to be a camelbak. You know, those crazy back packs that Marines carry with them when their securing your freedom in backwoods places like 29 palms and Fallujah. Its easy to carry, safe and fun to drink and a sure fire way to make sure the cops never say what?

Then there is the water gun method - easy said but a little work to get done. First, find yourself a Toys-R-Us in the bay area. If not go to a Target or something like that - check the Bayfair BART station. Fill up your 2 million gallon super soaker adult addition with margaritas (3 parts tequila, 2 parts lime, 1 part triple sec) and get ready to get your rocks off. This is an easy and well to do way to get completely smashed in a civil and social atmosphere. Word of caution though, please don't shoot innocent bystanders in the face with it. It might get in their eyes, and while funny it's never appropriate.

Next is that fake belly thing you've seen before, it's called a beer gut or something and is basically like a camelbak for your front. These devices are good for liquids that do not need to be chilled. More your scotches or bourbons. If you're using one of these go with brown colored based spirits and stay away from the clear stuff like vodka and rum.

Deep water floaties, you know - the kind you used to wear as a kid wading through the shallow end of the pool. Basically these waders are easy enough to strap to your arms and go. You can fill these with booze and as a devious aside, you can drink as you pretend to inflate them, snap!

We now come to the part of your pickled author's diatribe when we reach the most fun way of sneaking booze into the greatest celebration in the world. We find that "marital aides" such as a love ewe are now the most prolific way to bring your drinks into Bay to Breakers. Basically what you need to do is fill your sheep of choice with a metric shit ton of ever clear and fruit punch and sip to the flow of the crowd. The plus points of this is that you have around 58 oz of hard liquor with the negative points being that you're carrying around a sex sheep, all in all it's a win-win, trust us . The best part is if you say that you're a cast member of Real Housewives of New Jersey it doesn't matter if you are or are not. You still probably won't be a douche.

If you really want to know a good time then at 7 a.m. meet at the Gas Station on 8th and Folsom. We'll be the ones decked out in all white, gold chains glistening in the sun. Middle fingers pointed haphazardly at the world. Water wings, Camelbaks and Love Ewes balanced haphazardly around skewered senses of perception.

Check out all of our photos from B2B 2008 here.

Check out what's allowed and what's not at this year's B2B.