The word "mortify" comes from the Latin mortificare, meaning to put to death, though today we use "mortify" more lightly to mean being shamed or humiliated. For example, accidentally leaving the house without pants on is mortifying, as is losing a foot race and losing your pants in the process (there are varying degrees of mortification).

If you take pleasure in witnessing the embarrassment of others (you do), then the stage act MORTIFIED will be to you what fresh meat is to Tasmanian devils. The premise is simple: put adults on a stage to read their adolescent journals, poems, letters and the like. And given their temporal proximity to Valentines Day, these shows at the Make-Out Room will be particularly love-heavy, and they are designed to appeal to both the love-locked and the jaded among us.

MORTIFIED is gratifying for the same reason America's Funniest Home Videos has been on the air for so many years, despite the sundry detestable hosts. Watching a Christmas tree fall on a kid is as funny today as watching a saber-toothed cat make off with your hunting partner's leg was 15,000 years ago.

Embarrassment is the name of the game when the presenters in MORTIFIED take to the stage. Imagine how awful your high school days were, then remember that there was always someone far worse off than yourself, like the creepy kid who wouldn't stop eating ants on the baseball diamond. The resulting show is a cathartic romp through more humiliating and angsty lore than a Bright Eyes concert.

Special to these engagements is Shaun Parker, who is known for his heavy-metal home movies. According to Dave Nadelberg, MORTIFIED's founder, the films are among the troupe's most fascinating discoveries to date.

And if the heartache roughs you up and you find yourself with the need to self-medicate during the show, happy hour on Feb. 12 at the Make-Out Room lasts until 10.

Find MORTIFIED online, where you can even apply to be on the cast. That is if your childhood was sufficiently mortifying and you are at least somewhat charismatic.

MORTIFIED SF's Annual Doomed Valentines Show
at the Make-Out Room (3225 22nd St.)
415-647-2888

Feb. 12 and 13
8 PM
$12 advance, $15 at the door